Wishing For More
by MistressELEMENT
Summary: Choy.Chad/Troy.slash. Chad wishes he could hide this growing infatuation. But how much longer can he fight the growing need to just lean in and kiss his best friend? oneshot. 1st finished fanfic. warning: MxM action & bad language. Dedicated to HelloLish.


I don't know when this dumb infatuation began. I just know it has to stop. Soon.

Otherwise I really don't know how much longer I'll be able to hide it. If anything, I think it's becoming even more obvious than ever. Just today, in the cafeteria, Troy and I were sitting at our usual table and while we were waiting for the rest of the group, I couldn't take my eyes off him. His soft, shiny hair, those long eyelashes and the graceful way that he eats. The perfection of his whole being was completely enthralling.

I knew it was just a matter of time until he'd realize he was being watched. But at the moment I finally brought myself to tear my gaze away from that gorgeous face, it was too late, he'd already looked up and seen me staring.

I practically flinched at the sound of his voice, "What's up, Chad? Is something on your mind, bro?"

Laughing nervously, I'd replied, "Naw, man, it's nothing. I'm good."

I could tell he wasn't convinced but he dropped it anyway, bless him. I didn't know what else I'd have said if he'd pressured me. "Alright, dude, whatever you say. So you got any fun plans tonight?"

No, I'd said. And by the time the group was all sitting down, he and I had to go on a guy's night out at 7:30 to the movies. But now I wish I'd said, yes I do have plans tonight. Sorry. But no, I'd been to excited to hang out with Troy for the first time in a long time.

So now, I'm getting ready and I'm so eager to hang out with Troy but that's exactly what has gotten me pissed. This fuckin' eagerness is quickly turning into nervousness.

I feel like such a fucking fag. I mean, honestly, Troy and I have hung out plenty of times before but never, _ever_, have I been this excited to hang out with him. Not to mention the fact that I've never been this worried about what to wear. Usually I just throw something on and it's whatever, but right now, I'm stressing over what looks good or what doesn't; what's too big or too baggy or too tight; and too casual or too formal. Every little think has gone under major scrutiny and failed.

It's fucking ridiculous. This is just Troy. Not Taylor. _Troy, _my best friend since we were little kids. Cool Troy. Funny Troy….Hot Troy, sexy Troy. It's fuckin'-fine-ass _Troy_.

Shit.

I am so fucked. Shaking my head in frustration I just pull on a tight black t-shirt, tight light blue jeans, and black jordans. Looking in my full-length mirror, I'm either satisfied or I just don't give a shit now. But I got to admit, I'm looking pretty sexy. Snickering at that thought, I pull white beads around my neck for the final touch. Finally, I run out of my room, down the stairs and out the door, yelling to my mom that I'll be home around 11 or 12.

Sitting on my porch, I wait impatiently for Troy. Drumming my fingers on my thigh, my leg starts jiggling up and down until I can't stand it anymore so I get up and pace. What if Troy forgot? What if I'm all dressed up for no reason? What if he's hella late?

All these things keep running through my mind until finally a pair of headlights coming down the street calm my nerves.

When I see him, smiling at me as he stops his sleek, red corvette by the curb, an unfamiliar tingly feeling like butterflies starts up in my gut. Shaking it off, I walk to the passenger door and hop in, "So what movie are we seeing tonight?"

Grinning at me he gives the worst possible answer ever, "Saw 3."

My jaw falls open and I jerk towards the door, about to jump out back into the safety of my house, but its too late, he's already started driving. And when I try to unlock it, I figure that he's put the child's lock on it.

Turning to him, I glare at that sexy grin of his and folding my arms, I pout and glare at the windshield all the way to the theater.

* * *

"I am not watching that stupid fucking movie, Troy! You cannot make me." Strapping myself to the seat, I turn away from his pleading eyes and struggle to keep up my resolve.

Suddenly I feel the warmth of another's body on mine and I glance up to see Troy's face so sinfully close to mine. Glancing at his lips, I start to lean closer to them until the click of the seatbelt being undone stops me.

I jerk backwards away from him and glare. He just grins at me but I shove him away from me so that I can get out the car and walk angrily away from him toward the theater. I need as much distance as possible between us. I'm not angry at him, no. I just can't believe I almost outed myself because of a stupid mistake. Why the hell would he just lean over and kiss me?! Damn it! I knew that I wasn't the brightest frickin' crayon but God damn, I didnt know I was fuckin mentally retarded!

Fuming, I walk up to the booth, and growl at the stupid bitch, "Two tickets for Saw 3." Sliding the money over to her, she nods and nervously hands over the tickets.

Marching to the theater, I glance back to see Troy struggling to keep up...Good.

For a second, I can't look away from his gorgeous face and graceful form...and crash right into some ginormous-looking guy. "Oooh, wow, sorry," I apologize, he just glares and pushes past me.

Glaring at his back I switch my gaze back to Troy and find him laughing his ass off. Growling, I grow angrier and stomp to Auditorium 9. I brighten up a little bit when I hear Troy stumble to follow me but at the sound of a scream from the movie I freeze in the doorway, rigid with fear. I'd forgotten all about what movie we were watching. I'll piss my pants if I see that movie. Call me a pussy, fine. I don't give a shit what people think, I just **_don't_** like scary movies. They scare the shit out of me. Right as I'm about to high-tail my as out of there, a pair of arms is around my waist dragging me back into the dark auditorium.

"No," I whisper at Troy furiously, "I don't wanna see it!" I try to tear away from his hold but he just tightens it. For a moment the feel os his arms so strong around me stops my struggling to enjoy the feel of him and the smell of his cologne. Then, snapping back to my senses, I rip my body from his and turn my face away from his scrutiny.

Stumbling farther into the dark and spacious room, I fall into some random seat and stare at the screen, not even noticing the gory scenes playing on it...That was just too close. I was practically snuggling to get closer to Troy just now. Sniffing in his scent and rubbing my nose into the skin joining his neck and his shoulder. If I'd stayed that way any longer I definitely would've had to explain it; the only plausible explanation, I'm gay. It would've been even more embarrassing to have him know just how much I enjoy being held by him and the way his smell always seems to envelop me. Sighing heavily, I turn to him as he plops down beside me, green eyes curiously gazing into mine. I helplessly offer him a small smile just to convey to him that I'm okay.

But right when I turn toward the movie, someone is bleeding to death in the most disgusting and torturous way possible. I whimper loudly and bury my face into Troy's neck. He's laughiing hysterically and I elbow him in his stomach. That shuts him up. This isn't funny in the fucking least.

"I fucking hate you," I mumble into his neck, then I dare to look at the screen again but I quickly turn away and wrap my arms around Troy's chest. He just laughs at me again and the rumble of it vibrates his chest and gives me shiver down my spine. Breathing in deeply, I smile and for the first time in my life, I can actually find one reason to like scary movies. But that thought dies as quickly as it came when another blood-curdling scream echoes throughout the theater.

I fucking hate scary movies. And Troy, kind of.

/-/

By the time the movie ends, I'm shaking like a fucking wimp, scared shitless, and bawling my eyes out. Troy's trying to calm me down but I just punch him in the stomach and run out of the auditorium. In the bathroom, I run to the stall farthest inside, wiping away at the tears falling shamelessly from my eyes. I fucking hate scary movies. I fucking hate scary movies. I hate them, I hate them, I hate them, I hate them! I chant this over and over again in my head as I bend over the toilet, upchucking popcorn and my dinner. It looks kinda weird and I start laughing hysterically, tears streaming down my face.

The laughing quickly gives way to desperate sobs that violently rack through my body. My mind starts to replay all those gory scenes over and over. This is why I never watch scary movies when other people do. Look at my reaction! Its fucking ridiculous. But I have my reasons, I do.

As a kid, my dad used to force me to watch a horror movie repeatedly until I stopped crying because I already knew what was going to happen. He believed that I needed to see those kinds of vile things in order to _truely _be a man. Funny that, because look at me now, I'm a homo. I laugh bitterly and tears stream down my face even faster.

My dad was put in a loony bin after a while, but I never recovered from the trauma. Obviously. "Shit, I can't believe I'm crying," I say to this poor toilet in front of me. I rub and rub at my eyes until finally I stop crying, and right when the last tear dries, Troy pushes my stall open, breathing heavily. "Fuck, Chad, I've been looking all over for you!" Shock replaces the relief in his eyes as he looks at my face closely.

What is his problem?, "What is it, Troy?"

Falling to his knees in front of me, he gently caresses my face and I flinch back as his thumbs rub underneath my eys, "Ow!"

"Chad, what'd you do?!"

What'd I do? I don't get it, I didn't do anything except throw-up and...cry. Clearing my throat, I look away from him...how embarrassing. "What the hell are you talking about, bro?" I reach over and flush the toilet, then turn back to him.

His eyes look from me to the toilet and I can practically see this wave of guilt poor over him. "Did the movie bother you that much?"

Too embarrassed to look at him, I stare at the door behind him, "Of course not, what're you talkin about?"

He grabs my shoulders and shakes me, "Don't lie to me, Chad! I'm your best friend, for fuck's sake! Can't you be honest with me for once? I see it in your eyes every day. You're always lying to me. I don't even have to look in your eyes right now. I can just look at how raw, puffy, and red they are to see that you've been crying! Why can't you just tell me?! Be honest, damnit!"

"Honest? Honest?!" Of all the emotions I feel right now, I choose anger. Easiest to roll with. Safest. "What the hell do you think I was fucking being when you pulled me out of your damn car? I told you I didn't want to see the fucking movie!"

"Oh bullshit!" He pushes me away and stands, "You didn't have to see it if you didn't want to. You could've bought a different ticket at the booth.

Flushing, I stand too. "What if I didn't want to look like a stupid pussy in front of you?"

Scoffing, he rolls his eyes, "You're such a fucking moron! Do you really think that I would've thought any less of you?" Disbelief flashes in his eyes, "Don't you know me, Chad?" He shakes his head, "You honestly think I'd make fun of you." Guilt washes over his features again and his shoulder visibly slump. My heart aches and I feel bad for making him feel like this.

"I just thought that after all these years, you'd be fine. But I'm sorry, ok?" He sighs, "I didn't realize how much your past still affects you."

I sigh deeply, reaching behind him to lock the stall door. Then I wrap my arms around him, hugging him close, "Whatever, dude. It's alright, just forget about it." He sniffles and I laugh, pulling away to look at his face. "Are you crying, Troy?"

He laughs but it turns into a heart-wrenching sob, "Shut up man, I feel like shit now for making you watch that movie."

A tear rolls down his cheek and as I caress his face, I slowly lean forward and carefully lick it gone. He gasps and flinches away. I knew I wouldn't be able to hide for much longer. Wearily, I stare at his face as a million emotions flash across it, and I prepare for the worst possible reaction.

"Chad?" The confusion in his voice is so adorable it just shatters my control to pieces.

Leaning forward, I press my lips against his in a soft kiss at first but impatience gets the better of me and I kiss him with a bruising passion. Feeling no response yet, I pull back, fully expecting a punch to the face. Instead his knees seem to buckle and I pull him close to me. His face is flushed and his eyes are fluttering, then those bruised lips seem to follow mine with a little whimper. That cute little whimper surprises me but I don't waste my chances, and hungrily capture his lips again. I nibble away at his lower lip, then lick it better until finally his mouth opens and my tongue delves into the sweet depths of his mouth.

Surprised, he jolts away from me but the next second he moans and our tongues are twisting and turning around each other, battling for dominance. Finally I just give up and he takes over, commandeering the whole kiss and shoving me against the wall of our stall.

I moan and smile against his lips, enjoying the fact that he's freely participating. But I feel tears falling out of my eyes. Again, I pull back and angrily wipe them away. "Chad, what's wrong?" He asks.

Now I start laughing hysterically, and look at him with the most bitter smile I've ever felt on my face. "How are you taking this so calmly? I've just come out to you in the most abrupt way without cause or concern and you're just going with it?!"

He smiles sheepishly, "Well I like you, Chad, as more than just my best friend."

Joy spreads through my heart, and I burst out laughing. Lifting him up into my arms, I kiss him oh, so tenderly. "Good Lord, Troy, you have no idea how long I've been waiting to hear you say that."

Hugging him tightly, I remember the saying from when we were kids. "Best friends always become more." In our case, they couldn't have been any more right.


End file.
